I feel quite weird writing about myself, I usually share these thoughts with my diary, and nobody else. But I feel compelled to at least try to open myself up, and to allow people to get to know me better as a person. I do not think I’ll do a great job of this, so I’m sorry in advance if this is just a huge waste of time for you.
This week has been so weird for me. A little over a week ago, I emailed an author, let’s call her L. I was reading one of her books, and thought, “What the hell. I’ll give it a shot.” I did not expect anything out of it. I really did not even expect her to respond; she is a busy woman. After a couple days of constantly checking my email, I stopped hoping for her to respond, and I stopped thinking about it.
I got her email in the middle of my shift, and I was FLOORED. I was SO happy that a published author, somebody that I was so interested in speaking to, RESPONDED TO ME! She actually took the time out of her day to reply to my long, sappy email.
She was so kind and interesting (she is also an INFJ) and really seemed genuine with her words. I asked her for advice about finding a writing mentor, to help me maybe get out of my funk, and get me back on track and writing every day like I did for years before. She gave me a great referral to one of her clients, lets call her K, that happened to had just start up a mentoring business for herself. I was skeptical, excited, and so fucking nervous.
But I emailed her. I emailed K before I emailed L back. I texted my boyfriend right away and told him everything L said to me, and that I had emailed somebody that could potentially be mentoring me and helping me get me, and my writing, back on track.
I felt this huge rush of adrenaline. I felt like, if this worked out, my life could really be taking a (good) turn. I felt like this was potentially the start of something larger than I could ever fathom. Opportunities like this have never presented themself to me. Never having any real (positive) adult influences in my life, especially ones that cared about my work or passions… I crave(d) that kind of influence in my life. Someone to help me in the things I cared about the most. My writing. My art. My feelings.
K emailed me back within a couple of hours. We spoke on the phone that same day, and within the hour, I had signed up to be one of her clients.
Speaking on the phone with her for the first time was euphoric. It was like I was high, and drunk, and happy. Happier than I had been in so long. It was the first time I had gotten to speak to an INFJ. At least, like that. No need for small talk. No need for judgement. I was so comfortable, and it felt like I KNEW her. I was so interested in talking to her, being her friend, learning from her. She went through so many similar things… I wanted to know how she survived it all. She seemed interested in me, genuinely. I find hidden motives in EVERYONE when they speak to me, but I did not, and have not, done that a single time speaking to her.
It has only been (a little over) a week since emailing L. And I have a mentor now, I have motivation now, I have somebody that speaks to me like they care and want to see me succeed.
She has encouraged me to step out of my shell, she understands the struggle of being such a… INFJ. She is funny and interesting and motivational and caring.
K, if you’re reading this I’m sorry I’m writing about you, but I had to share how awesome you are.
It has been a crazy week. But I’m so incredibly happy, and I’m so excited to have this experience and opportunity, and to see where it takes me.
Thank you if you read till the end.
Talk to you later, maybe.